Spam Capacity?

 

 

So. I’ve been doing a somewhat half-assed experiment. With my Yahoo email account. A couple weeks ago…my spam started getting twenty to thirty hits a day. I at first, plucky sort that I am, tried to block, filter, set up rules, blah deeee fucking blah. I even made the mistake of trying to unsubscribe to whatever Luciferian list my email got put on. Nothing. Nada. No cease in the flow of spammy spammity spam.

Nothing worked.

And it’s spam from the same set– the same bank/s, Lifelock, AIG, DNA kits, burial information, Liberty Mutual, Proactiv, Lyft hiring RIGHT NOW, senior home living, Choice Home warranty, the Wall Street Journal subscriptions, Incontinence, Rosetta Stone…the same handful of home warranties, get a loan, clear your pimples, find a man, find out who your ancestors raped, nursing homes not run by Satan, banks that want to just give you credit cards; it’s fucking endless.

[Note– I am probably going to cuss a bit. If you’re an eight year old child, you already know these words but pretend you don’t and certainly don’t tell your custodians that you learned said words by reading this, m’kay?]

Right now, at 10:24 AM, I’m at 1078 spam emails. Yes. That’s a thousand and seventy eight emails. Or is it a thousand seventy eight? [Grammar police? Hello?] I’ve been taking pics of this. The procession from a few to FUCK ME DOES THAT SAY FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVEN? It’s kept me off the streets, and mildly occupied. It’s a distraction.

America is slightly bonkers right now. Slightly. A lil bit. God probably went out for a taco. When God gets back, however, yeah. Am I the only one who notices Americans have a savior complex about their politicians? Probably not. But this post is about spam emails so back to that!

I keep thinking Yahoo will send me an email telling me my junk email is OMG TOO FULL EMPTY THAT THING LADY. They have not. But I do notice emails going directly to the trash. Nothing I’ve marked as ‘spam’, however.

Yours truly was going to empty the spam trashies when I reached five hundred. Then I wondered…hey. How many spams does it take to fill up my account so that nothing can go in or out?

[Don’t worry. I barely use this one anymore. I know you’re a bit worried here. Worry about the flooding in Houston and so forth. If you want to do some good.]

I’m over a thousand. I thought…a thousand spams would surely render my account frozen until I empty all those emails.

Hotmail empties your junk spammy crappola after ten days or so. Just sayin’. Just puttin’ it out there.

So, I’ll keep watching the Lyft offers for employment, the AIG whatever, the nursing home lookatme, the credit card attempted seductions junk emails pile up higher and higher and higher yet. Maybe my new spam number will be 2000. OOOOOEEEEE.

Turd-day, Aug. 31– 1248. Come on, spammers!! You’re slowing down a bit! Only a hundred fifty or so since Tuesday??? I’m ashamed of you fuckpuffs!! Where else can I somewhat ignore insurance offers, credit card come-ons and burial plot beggings?