2 Short Stories

Here are two short stories of mine. Circle Salt, about a seance gone very wrong, and Everything Is Normal Here. That’s a straight up ghost story about a young woman dealing with a particularly persistent and frightening new paranormal visitor.

World of Myth. Horror Zine. Thank you for taking such care with my work.

So! Two ghost stories for some summer reading.

https://jayzohub.com/darkmythproductions/theworldofmyth/108/horror/everything_is_normal_here/everything_is_normal_here.html

https://www.thehorrorzine.com/Fiction/July2022/AnnWuehler/AnnWuehler.html

A Mile Away

If you don’t live in America, you might not have heard that women had their rights rescinded. Roe V. Wade, which made abortion legal in all the states, was just overturned today, with the ruling returning if women can legally control their own bodies or not over to the states. Um. So.

Something like twenty-eight states will outlaw abortion or the red states. The blue states will keep it legal. It boils down to if you live in a GOP [Grand Old Party[ or ‘red’ state or a Democrat-controlled state. They’re the blue team here. Your geography, as of today, if you’re a child-bearing age person, matters. It matters hugely. If you’re in, say, Louisiana, you are livestock of the state. If you’re in Oregon, you’re still a full citizen with your right to end an unwanted pregnancy, if you so choose, safely and legally.

However. If the GOP regain the House of Reps and the Senate, McConnell has stated on record that he will make abortion illegal at the FEDERAL level. So. Yeah. Those in blue states, you’re on thin ice here. You’re not safe from this shit if the Gross Old Perverts get their way in late fall. I hope you realize that. I hope it’s starting to sink in how fucking devastating this ruling is today.

There are myriad laws that…yeah, it’s a fucking nightmare of a mess here in my country today, for years now, actually. If I’m honest. trump got to place three extremist judges on the Supreme Court, picked out by Bitch McTurtleman or Mitch McConnell and the Federalist Society. Go look them up. Horrifying, ain’t they?

Of course, a lot of people saw all this coming A MILE AWAY.

And now, Clarence Thomas, of that whole Anita Hill and the pubic hair fame– go ahead, look up that one, too. Why is that thing on the highest court in America, for life and why why why do we have to suffer the efforts of his cult-ish wife who wants to install trumpie as king for life? Yeah. Okay. Thomas wants to ‘revisit’ all the cases that enabled, oh, same-sex-marriage, legal use of contraception [this helps cut down on the need for abortions, you fucking loons] and even interracial marriage…of which the Loving V State of Virginia case allowed Thomas to marry Ginni legally. Yeah.

It’s not just abortion rights.

It’s just the beginning of an actual attempt to build a real goddamn Gilead. That’s the society of the Handmaid’s Tale. Where only rich straight white guys have all the power and the women are chattel. It’s a horrifying dystopian what-the-fuck-could-never-happen-in-America sort of roller coaster ride…about twenty years ago. Right now, it feels like a documentary. One of really bad ones where you sit there with your fist stuffed in your mouth so you don’t scream the entire run time and startle your neighbors.

So, of course, leadership right now from the pro-choice side seems…flat as a pancake. Or an exercise in hand-wringing or averted eyes. A few are calling for protests. And getting immediately accused of inciting violence.

A further way to make sure the loss of rights, upheld for the last fifty years or so, doesn’t get much more push back than someone rolling their eyes very carefully.

As they deny they rolled their eyes at all because those on the right immediately go the attack 24/7 about how the left wants to kill all the judges, force your kids to become gay and take away all your free speeching, and bring in ‘illegal aliens’ to rape your wife, empty your bank account and…ugh.

I wish I were kidding about that tactic but, no.

See Madge T. Greene and her trying to frame AOC as inciting violence when AOC calls for protests, etc. Madge Greene is a far right GOP troll. She has no other function that I can tell. AOC is on the left, and a target because she actually tries to do stuff and things once in a while. Sigh.

This tactic, of accusing the left of being violent if they push back even a little against anything, works. It works. Suddenly the media is laser focused on anything remotely left-ish…sigh. All the actual violence and horror of the far right, which is becoming more and more mainstream in America, gets treated with kid gloves and a knocked over garbage can from anyone perceived as The Left gets treated like a murder spree in a child’s hospital wing. It’s just…yeah. Sigh.

It’s worse to protest the racists than to be one is the message here. It’s worse to speak up and out against whatever injustice or actual coup is going on or murder than to be the ones being racist, storming the capital or kneeling on a man’s neck for nine minutes.

It’s always the left, in America, that gets painted as the ‘violent’ ones as the right actually shoot people in the goddamn face or beat them with sticks or run over them in cars or stab them on trains or attempt to interrupt a Gay Pride event in Idaho with a cartload of weapons designed to kill those they find objectionable.

Where are the cities the left allegedly burnt down again? Or the people killed? Or…?

A mile away. People wouldn’t vote for the ButHerEmails lady so now we’re facing a grim, savage future where it’s okay to gun down school kids cause guns are a God-given right but a woman wanting to control her own body is a life sentence offence. If now actual grounds for her execution by the ‘pro-life’ crowd. Yeah, that’s proposed, too. If a woman gets an abortion, is that a death penalty worth offense? That’s an actual debate point right now…uh huh.

I am hoping people get mad enough to fight this. I am hoping people show up at the ballot box this November, despite the voter restrictions, gerrymandering and voter intimidation that will take place. Planned voter intimidation by those who think trump won in 2020.

I also hear for calls to ‘burn it all down’. Um, by those who could not bothered to show up to vote because they were not inspired by the left’s candidate/s. Why do these same folks think they will be able to rebuild a destroyed society? Or be the ones to do that? No no. It will be McConnell and his ilk that show up to do that, cupcakes. They’ve worked so hard for the chance to strip America for parts and slap a coat of Jesus on her. What makes you think any of that shit brigade would stand down as you argue over what color to paint the meeting room?

Yeah, I have little hope and a lot of contempt and some actual tears today. Hello darkness, my old/new friend. America is a backwards, savage, murderous place full of timid, comfortable sorts on the left who don’t like to make waves too much, calm down, it’s not that bad…versus rapid hyenas ready to bite and bite and bite until the screaming stops. And then keep biting because it’s all they know how to do. Other than install judges, win elections no matter what and ignore any wrongdoing as long as they win. Ethics be damned, baby.

I have no answers here. None. Sorry. I’m just…mmm. When do we call time of death? Will there be some sort of national push against this SCOTUSshit? Will we all be singing patriotic songs as each minority group gets criminalized in some way, some form? How soon until America turns into Trumpland? Is there any real fight left in my country?

Tired now.

Tired.

This Site Has Coupons!

Mornin’.

It’s my birthing day. My mother nearly died, I was supersick as well. My mother had to also feed me on goat’s milk when I couldn’t digest anything. The doctor told her there was nothing to be done as I was starving to death but she persisted. Found I could handle goat’s milk. Of course she also liked to tell EVERYONE that I pooped a lot when I was a baby. It was one of her go-to stories. Yeah.

It was green, runny, and filled my crib. A sort of horror story involving my baby pooping abilities. Thanks, mom!

I do have a new book out. The Adventures of Grumpy Odin and Sexy Jesus, which got so few reactions I wonder if I should bother at all anymore.

And I won’t bore anyone with that shit. Don’t worry. No words on the gutpunch of being an invisible writer.

Every time I glance at my blog, the little message at the top says this site has coupons. Like it’s Amazon or the candle site I drool over. I love candles. And they’re amazing. Carpathian Mountains, Lost At Sea, Norway, Halloween ones. Goose Creek Candles, if you’re curious. They run sales all the time.

Applying for jobs that do not involve wiping other people’s bottoms. So far, a big fat zilch. Can’t even get an interview. Nope. That’s something to sigh over tomorrow.

Painting rocks again. Not really writing that much. Drifting along, waiting for the meteor. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!

Okay, will end this with a brief takedown of Stranger Things. Now. I watched all the episodes. I guess the new ones will drop in July.

So. Mm. It seems the same storyline got repeated for three seasons. El or Jane must rally and fight the Monster/Upside Down world and close the gate/s. The other kids, um, figure out stuff and act like actual kids. Refreshing.

There’s a lot of 80’s references. A lot. From Ghostbusters to aerobics to the music being played. There’s Metalheads. There’s Cyndi Lauper. And Kate Bush wasn’t that popular, but we get her song over and over and over. Air Supply!

They even cast Winona Ryder as the mom of the kid who gets sucked into the parallel world in season one. Matthew Modine was also pretty common in 80’s fair, so he’s a doctor who might be evil or not. We get 80’s fashion, from the big hair to the overly bright patterned clothes.

I really liked how Dungeons and Dragons got blamed for the happenings of season four. The Satanic Panic! That was real, it happened a lot like that and real people were sent to jail over allegedly being in league with Satan. That Satanic Panic shit is still hot and heavy in America to this day. After all, liberals align with the devil, do they not, Fox Newz? And Alex Jones? And a lot of far right preachers? And…?

Also, the murders in season four were…jaw-droppingly horrific. Warning label indeed needed. Jesus H. Christ, there really was no way to warn against how ghastly they were. I know it’s fake, it’s not real but damn. I actually gasped, made sounds, had to look away. I happened to watch season four right after the Uvalde shooting. So…yeah.

I love love love the sheriff, played by David Harbour. Who would have been a kid in the 80’s. He really is the backbone of this show. His current storyline is just…eh. Really? [I won’t spoil it if you have not yet gotten to season four or through the end of season three.]

Oh my goodness, and the whole Soviet inclusion. You forget how twitchy we were as a country over anything Soviet or USSR. That constant dread that any minute a nuclear bomb was gonna drop on your town or nearby. The movie the Day After captures this very real fear. That someone would make a mistake and a nuclear exchange would take place. That the Russians in Stranger Things could be right out of an action movie staring Sly Stallone, Arnie Swarzenegger, Kurt Russell or hell, right out of the original Red Dawn…I found a bit off-putting. They wouldn’t know to hide themselves completely, like in the series, the Americans? The USSR wouldn’t send English-speaking sorts able to pass to do their fell deeds at the Hawkins mall? Not bitchin’, dudes.

Off to water the lawn, maybe watch some silly movies and enjoy my birthday cheesecake. I got myself a small cheesecake. And hope the following year isn’t the shitshow it promises to be in America and the rest of the world. Father of the Bride on HBO looks silly, dumb, fun and frothy.

Grumpy Sexy

June. It’s June. My birthday is soon. Can you do me a boon? Go take a gander at my book. I won’t rhyme anymore. It might make some of you darlings a bit sore.

I do believe the Kindle is $3.99.

THE ADVENTURES OF GRUMPY ODIN AND SEXY JESUS:

Odin knows better than to trust Newbie Jesus, in a borrowed flesh suit, but Jesus might actually deliver on getting back everyone Odin lost when God attacked the gods that came before him with holy fire. Maggie, head secretary to God, has a total crush on Odin, which lands her in unexpected very hot water with her rather smitey boss, as well as shove her down a path she never, ever saw coming. Poor Suzi finds out the very hard cost of loving a minion but there might be unexpected benefits that go along with her plight. Click and Clack might be holding onto some power that could come in handy during a batboy attack, and possibly useful to the only son of God. Add in some Karaoke Nites at the shared hangout of minions, secretaries and has-been magical riff-raff, along with secrets, betrayals, the Alvord Desert and a small stuffed rabbit, and you just might find yourself cheering for the Adventures of Grumpy Odin and Sexy Jesus.

The Adventures of Grumpy Odin and Sexy Jesus – Kindle edition by Wuehler, Ann, Schneider, Derek. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

Stray Tape

STRAY TAPE

  “Why does it have to be tape?” Callie clutched the only picture she had of her mother as Xu kept a lookout for bears. The dead oak tree on the old Pearson property had not seen bears for twenty-three years, but one never knew.

     “It can’t hurt the tree,” Xu answered, her face turning this way and that, the snow dancing past her suspicious eyes searching for objects to cover and change. It had not snowed for near three years. Not really. The sky seemed bloated and too gray-white for Callie’s comfort. “The tree’s magic won’t work. That’s the rules. What was that?”

     Both peered toward the tilled field, where corn had stood in military precision until just a few days ago. A rather large blurry object bumbled toward them. “That’s the stray dog. The St. Bernard Mr. Kelly tried to shoot. Said it was eating his chickens. So I tape this to this magic tree and my mom comes back?”

     “There’s words and stuff,” Xu offered, her crisp black hair covered with a raspberry beret. “It don’t always work. Like real magic. That’s how you know it’s real. When it doesn’t always work. That is a big dog. Tape it already. Duct tape, right?”

     Callie pulled a long bit of scotch tape, heart beating too fast, eyes dazzled by tiny snowflakes waltzing past. “You didn’t say that. You never said that.” She stepped back, the picture of her mother in her high school cap and gown flapping, threatening to fly off. She heard panting. The St. Bernard, skinny as the old barn cat, Mrs. Mouse, looked at both with one mournful eye, the other gummed shut and leaking yellow matter. Matted auburn and ivory coat and one ear shredded, swollen. A more beat up, unhappy dog Callie had never seen. Xu backed away and it shadowed her. “It’s just an old dog.” The picture tore free, zoomed into the air, upheld by the growing wind. “Damn it!”

     “No, let it go. Now say, dance dance, tree tree, come back to me. And your mom’s name.”

     “What? Okay, whatever. Dance dance, tree tree, come back to me, Vivian Thomas. Oh her middle name was Jane.” Callie’s bare hand touched the back of the giant, emaciated dog. It leaned against her legs with a sigh. A collar? She removed it, the dog shook its entire body. Lady had been etched into the cracked leather. “Come on, Lady. You can live in the barn.”

     “It’s probably got worms,” Xu trailed behind, always wary about bears but quite good with magic. Callie took the picture of her mother, put it in her coat pocket. “No! It has to remain near the tree. The dog stinks.”

     The picture spiraled upward. Lady sniffed at a clump of weeds. Callie headed home, with her best friend Xu grumbling about it might not work now in her ears.

Not sure who took this pic

June, Baby

Hey, it’s June already.

It’s been raining here. All of May seemed rainy and cold, and at times, snowy. Snowy. At least here in the east of Oregon. Or the west of Idaho. I straddle the border between two states. I’m literally on Ore-Ida land. How old were you when you learned Ore-Ida stood for Oregon-Idaho? Yeah, at times I am quite clueless, blind, stupid and out of the loop. Ain’t we all? I hope?

Have gotten some acceptances. Some rejections. Have had a major case of the ‘don’t wanna write’ and it’s all I can do to write a short story. Making myself write, ugh. Need to fix my total antipathy to writing. The only way to do that is to write. You can’t take pills for it or can you? Is there a pill for the don’t wanna write malaise?

Trying Stranger Things, again. I started it at work, when I worked graveyards. Trying to pay attention to this dense, 80’s throwback horror fantasy family drama teen angst shit was just about nigh impossible. But hey, loved the sheriff guy, who’s this giant cuddly grumpy teddy bear and is that Winona Ryder playing with Christmas lights? It is! Evil scientists! MK Ultra! Nancy and Steve and Jonathon, just stab me in the knees already. I’m on season two.

I also caught up with the Boys, now on its third season. Holy exploding body parts, Batman. Hughie annoys me so much. That’s the Billy Joel listening Debbie Downer. Other than that, enjoying the return of this series. Don’t wanna give away anything but if you like raunchy, violent, funny anti-superheroes stuff, this might be your cup of blood. It’s strictly for adults-only, btw. So, be warned there.

Oh yeah, we’ve had several more mass shootings here in Amerigun and nothing’s being done to curtail them beyond ‘tots and pears’ and ‘it’s a mental health problem’. After which GOP politicians resolutely vote against any and all social and medical programs that might help people with mental health issues…fuck me, same as it ever was. Uvalde didn’t change those in power’s minds about guns. Sandy Hook sure as shit didn’t. Columbine, nope. You can trace the mass murdering sprees…fuckadoodle.

That train has wrecked, exploded, burned out and now there’s a stack of trains waiting to wreck so we can all watch, mumbling thoughts and prayers at it. Clumsy prose that cannot adequately express my motherfucking fury at all this, my sadness and grief that those in power chose the guns over the people being slaughtered in public places at such a merry and ghastly rate.

One of the ‘answers’ is arming the teachers. Turning teachers into soldiers responsible for not only protecting their classrooms, after a bare minimum of training with firearms, but getting the students to safety and seeing to wounds, etc, etc.

You know, like soldiers do in combat situations. Beau of the Fifth column took this one apart. If you don’t know what that is, he’s on Youtube taking apart conspiracy theories, gun myths, and explaining what stuff actually means to his best abilities. He’s able to reach those a lot of well-meaning folks can’t.

Another problem with arming teachers is– cost.

Who’s paying for whatever training far right lawmakers hastily propose or don’t and who’s paying for the guns and ammo? Guns are spendy. Ammo is spendy. If you arm all the teachers in your school and the staff, are you arming the staff like janitors, food preppers, etc…that’s a big chunk of your budget, if not all of your budget and then some. Not to mention the ammo for all those guns and the trainings and the classes you’d have to take and…mmm.

Does it have to be a handgun? Can you bring in a hunting rifle or a combat-ready weapon or your ancestor’s flintlock?

And oh, liability. If a teacher shoots a student, what then? If a student gets the teacher’s gun, shoots people, what then? Does the school have to take out even more insurance, get lawyers on retainer just in case? Or is that solely on the overburdened, underpaid shoulders of the teachers and staff at that school? Do you have to now buy liability insurance on top of paying for your own firearms training class/es? As teachers are expected to foot the bill a lot of time for keeping their teaching licenses updated and current, will they also be expected to train with guns on their own time and their own dime?

Or will magical funds appear to pay for all this soldier training for public school teachers? When that same funding can’t be found for updating classrooms or making sure all the kids attending get a meal to eat during their school day.

Teachers already have to buy their own classroom supplies.

They often have to buy their students lunches or provide breakfasts to at-risk kids. I did this, when I worked Special Education, in Oregon, for outings where my charges didn’t have enough to buy a lunch when out in the community. I noticed other teachers providing snacks and meals, out of their own scanty paychecks, while also buying art supplies, basic classroom supplies…ugh.

All because lawmakers have cut school budgets to the bare bones and then some, in the hopes of getting rid of public education. Making kids attend spendy private schools which push the Christian agenda like mad or force women to stay at home teaching their own kids as daddies need to go to work to earn that bacon, just like the old days.

Because today’s kids are soft! Soft, I tell ya! That’s why we’re having all these school shootings! Soft kids! They’re being indoctrinated by liberal teachers and taught how to give blowjobs at six years old! They’re being forced to change their genders by these liberal teachers! I have to call my daughter my son now because of liberal teachers!

You can go down that rabbit hole if you wish. It’s ugly, frightening and happening at a rapid clip right now. The ever-increasing spate of PTA meetings full of red-faced shouters screaming about needing to censor books, that teachers are too ‘woke’, that the gay agenda is turning kids into transgender freakshows ready to cut off their own bits to satisfy fashion.

Seriously, you can wander down to your own school board meeting and hear this stuff for free. You can sit there and chuckle about it, until you realize these people RUN THE FUCKING SCHOOLS IN A LOT OF PLACES. And can outlaw whatever they want, including trans people. And do and have.

See Florida and Idaho and…

Idaho is banning books, trying to erase LGTBQ folks and blaming their problems on…m’kay.

The hysterical attacks on teachers and CRT. Transgender anything, drag queen story hour, LGTBQ blah blah, not teaching the real American history that touts white men as saviors of the planet and the ones who built everything and invented everything.

Also, that the Founding Fathers wanted America to be Jesusland full of guns and manly men running everything.

Well, the men running everything part is true. If you know anything at all about early American history and why amendments got added to the Constitution and why, you’ll understand why those claiming the Constitution was written as some sort of weird praise prose to the Bible is just horseshit. Plain ole steaming road apples.

David Barton and others are pushing this alt US history.

It’s weird that teachers are both soldiers expected to defend their corner of some savage battlefield and yet to blame for all of society’s ills in America.

Teachers indoctrinate your babies on social justice agendas yet shoot to kill those trying to kill your kids. It’s AOC and her alter ego, Gun Mama. It’s the weirdest fucking cognitive dissonance imaginable.

To those outside the USA. I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know what to write about on this chokehold the gun lobby has over my country but it’s killing us in large numbers.

Gun deaths are now the leading cause of departure of this earth for American kids. You’d think the pro-life party would, um, do something about that. Actually do something other than ignore that thoroughly or propose even more guns to flood society.

But hey, selling guns is the GOP hustle. It’s the sole job of the NRA or the National Rifle Association, to sell guns. They pay the politicians big bucks to keep those sales up. The NRA didn’t used to be a scary ass fascist organization run by blood-hungry ghouls. It used to be about gun safety and limiting who could have a fucking gun. That’s right. I believe it was started after the US Civil War to teach people how to shoot correctly, as it was noticed Union soldiers couldn’t shoot for shit. I’d have to look that up and frankly, why bother with facts when making up shit travels so much father these harrowing days?

Okay, founded in 1871 to advance markmenship. This whole American stance that guns are sacred is a new fucking concept, relatively speaking. It has not been with American ideals since 1776. Not even close. I’d say the last forty years or so, maybe even less time. Yet another rabbit warren to pick a hole to go down. Darkness, dirt, worms and wide-eyed rabbits galore.

There doesn’t seem to be a last straw kind of incident to ‘wake’ up the GOP gun zealots to the danger of just letting anyone get all the guns they want, with little to no background checks or requirements they get trained or get wellness checks of any kinds.

There are loopholes at gun shows for selling guns, btw. Gun shows. Drown in that one. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Each state seems to have different laws regarding guns, which is why Chicago often gets targeted by the right wing, as the surrounding states have lax gun laws. People can just bring a gun to Chicago’s no-gun zones and…yeah.

And hey, Chicago isn’t even in the top ten for violent cities. I think the number one city for that is St. Louis, Missouri. But that never seems to come up on Fox News…

All right. Oh, another mass shooting took place? While a mass shooting was already happening? I guess I should scream about doors and arming everyone in public places is the answer instead of sensible gun control methods. Cause freedom eagle apple pie freedom Jesus.

Tots and pears!