I broke my own rules. I wrote a desperate, memory lane splattered little scream that I should have sent to the trash, not let others read at all. I should have kept my own bullshit to myself, not shared it. Nobody cares, okay. Got it. Understand that. I can’t seem to make any sort of headway professionally right now or personally. It’s frustrating.

I do want to thank people if they did read the post before this one. Thank you.

I won’t be posting anything that should have been kept private. For no one but me. I get it. I didn’t overcome anything, I didn’t learn any aggressively positive lessons. Okay.

I have a rule. To never speak of or write to others how bad it gets in my head. How bad it is all the time. To not burden my few remaining friends with the utter dreck of my thoughts, the debris-laden tides. Better not tell no one but God, as Celie’s stepfather told her in Color Purple.

Yeah. Need to remember that. Need to have that carved into my arm so I can read that before sending out anything smacking of such trite, pathetic bullshit again.

Note– I’ve trashed the Red Ryder post. No need for it to be posted at all.

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