As I microwave my ancient morning coffee, which is ice cold, I ponder. I wonder. I’m also ovaries deep back in a Wonderfalls revisit. Talking souvenirs and kitsch objects giving cryptic instructions to a slacker chick. Because reality right now is just…um.
I wonder what it will take the crack the sneering veneer of Trumpikans. An actual murder? I wonder why the Democrats still have their velvet, be nice, gloves on.
Take em off, you squirrels. Take em off.
Stop playing nine-dimensional chess with assclowns swinging battle axes at everything in sight they find scary, threatening or scary. You two groups are not playing the same game. For thirty some years now, dears. Yeah.
I put half a candy cane in my microwaved coffee, by the way. Just for full disclosure. Yes, I still have candy canes left over from Christmas. Shoo fly, that might have been the last remaining bit of one. Can you buy candy canes for Easter? Honest question. I like mint, peppermint, the general mint family. Snapple with mint is still right up there as one of my favorite drinks of all time. Do they still make that? Honest question.
BRB!
I don’t believe Snapple makes this anymore. My hasty, barely glanced at google search seemed to find no evidence that Mint Snapple is available in March of 2019. Sad. Sad!
Spring has sprung. The spring bulbs planted eons ago yet again shove up their spiky green leaves, with hints that tulips and daffodils will soon follow. Bloom for about three days, then go back to sleep until next year.
The bees, all two of them, buzz about, inspecting me for pollen. Still don’t have any, bees. You’re making me nervous, bees.
Oh look, we still have bees. Global warming must be a hoax if I still see bees…
Seriously, Demo-door-mats, take them gloves off. Why do you think people are so freaked out by AOC??
IS SHE PLACATING THE VERY ONES PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE?
No, squirrels, she’s not.
I should run political campaigns, huh?
I’m trying to be super-cheerful. I don’t think I’m pulling that off. At all.
I’m readying my tiny bit of ground for a tiny garden attempt. My zukes were wildly abundant last year, yet my pumpkins, after a late belated start, were so so.
My eggplant…the less said the better but it was a weird ornamental variety. It tried. It grew tiny little eggplants!
Something kept eating or destroying my cukes and the summer squash never really got its engines running, if you catch my meaning.
The oregano went to town! My dill plant delighted me! The lavender, oh my! Lemon balm, never again. I don’t know what to do with it. I think I’ll try rosemary this year as I love rosemary in pretty much anything. Dill, yes! Sage and thyme! I might just go for spices and zukes and pumpkins.
I actually did manage to make pies from pumpkins I’d grown, after all. At least three!
I just need to work on my pie crust skills. Ouch. Ugly pies but they taste okay. I’m ashamed! I watch all those baking competition shows! My pies look like something that fell on the floor, then got stomped on by buffalo. I can and will do better!
I also need to dust off a novel that needs working on or finishing or…I’ll put a note up, stare at it a lot.
Work on novel.
Work on play.
Work on screenplay, you ditsy scatterbrained hagfish!
ANN WUEHLER 
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