Brain Toots


Oh woe is me. O Woe to thee o Israel.

Ever sent  off a submission to a literary this or that, thinking you’ve actually read the submission guidelines instead of just your usual indifferent glance? And then received the prickly ‘you have no ability to read, do ya??’ terse reply as to why your submission will now be sent to the proverbial literary guillotine?

Ah. The comforting excuse of the brain toot! The more crude ‘brain fart’, for those so inclined. 

I’m not sure who made the above. But this illustrates the enormity of my brain toot a bit.

It’s just a reminder that I need to actually pay attention to whatever rules and regulations have been put into place. That’s all this is.

Not a sign from the Great Gazoo that I should go into dead animal removal, as that doesn’t require reading anything. Who can’t operate a shovel?? Well…that could get into some prickly areas right there!

Now!! I did correct my mistake. I wrote an apology for my flub, my gaffe, my head-scratcher. I even wrote a fresh brand new piece to send this entity. To make sure there would be no second


emails sent to me. [That’s the subtext!]

The text is a bit more polite than that.

It’s January and I yet possess some energy to laugh at myself, then try again. This might last a few more days, so I must take advantage of it.

What’s the weather like??

I’m glad you asked!

It’s chilly!! It might rain or snow in the near future. I added some hot chocolate mix to my morning coffee. I feel like a princess now.

Except for that whole my family intends to sell me off for favors and land thingie. Ahem.

So! The lesson I gladly impart to all of you: laugh at yourself when you make a truly dipshit stupid mistake, then correct it as best you can. Then add cheap clumps of vaguely chocolate-like powder to your coffee for that truly International Coffees feelz.

Remember those???

Oh. They’re still here. See?? I’m a mass of misinformation and wrongness lately.

Always. I’m always a mass of misinformation and wrongness.

from Thrillist. Princess time!

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