Light-Hearted Screamers of the Coming-Doomcalypse

I wrote the above title with no real directive or thoughts as to what to write next. I’m free-ballin’ it here, to quote myself. The picture below is not mine. I went over to Google and typed in ‘balls’ and picked a picture. Now you know the dark, twisty, twisted, twistified workings of my brain meat.

from Bullsballs

Okay, I had some words and then I deleted them because they were an incoherent mess. I’m trying to write during this Time of Tangerine Vader and wondering how soon until America invades Canada for dissing us on Twitter.

I am actually wondering that. Does Trudeau have the Canadian war planes ready for that scenario? Does Canada have war planes?? Would that Google search get me on a list somewhere? Probably not. I’m a WASP, or at least, I pretend to be one during house to house searches. Just kidding! Sort of! JUST KIDDING SORT OF!

I do have pink skin, my ancestors came from some vague Northern European locations [my ancestors were quite slutty on one side. Probably the other side, too, they just hid it better] and I can claim to be a Lutheran if pressed about it. I can gargle out some Lutheran info when that big flashlight comes to me, you betcha.

I notice that Protestants never get blamed for anything in America, whether terror attacks, economic woes or moralistic quandaries.  I notice that. A lot. Yet, a lot of those proclaiming to be Protestants claim they’re the real victims.

Others have noticed it far better and with far more gleeful venom that even moi possesses. I notice that especially right now when Tangerine Vader and His Army of Somewhat Loyal Flying Monkeybutts spew out blame and edicts in the same breath…It’s like something from a Monty Python sketch, maybe the really famous one with the dead parrot.

“They’re” trying to sell us that dead parrot that is trickle-down economics and a particularly awful strain of Christianity while some are going, but that parrot is dead, that parrot is no more, that parrot has ceased to be.

There’s actual quotes from that sketch floating about but if I look up Canadian war planes and Monty Python, I fear I’ll get hauled away for America First Patriots Only Reprogramming Program. Now, I kid, sort of. I kid.

Oh. Yes. Have been glancing at forcibly cheerful screams about how all this current floofiness will be good for artists. I do so admire trying to turn this moldy lemon into something drinkable for the whole class!

No, you can’t wallow in the dark gooey shittery all the time, you start craftily hooking up with others who see things like shadow governments, the Illuminati fingers on all our pies, alien visits covered up by the government, 9/11 being an inside job, vaccines exist just to make money and support Big Pharma, kale will solve all problems on this planet so people should eat it all day long already, scientists just want to get grant money so they’re spouting whatever the government wants them to spout, climate change is a liberal conspiracy to turn us all into commies and take money from hard-working sorts and give it those who don’t deserve it, feminists hate men, regulations are bad except when they’re not and don’t seem to effect me in any way, liberals want to hasten in Sharia law, conservatives are all deplorable assholes, etc…etc…etc.

I mean, there’s so many new and exciting conspiracies/groups of interest to choose from lately! Or the same old conspiracies and funky-scary-funny groups dressed up in today’s fashions. Probably that, huh?

Nothing ever changes, not really. Ugh, how gloomy is that?? Very! Someone needs more coffee! It’s me, in case you were wondering. It’s me.

Of course, if you try to put a positive spin on everything, you start eating your own hair in private and kicking your pets just for some balance to your constant forced sugary positivity.

Be careful what you wallow in for too long is my vague point here! I should tell stories! I can meander and wander through word fields like a lot of others can! I can point out the obvious and string together phrases and idioms like a lot of others manage to do in regard to that obvious finding! Yay!

Oh by the hairy chin of my auntie– where was I?

Trying to fill the white space with wordage, ah, yes.

I will try to enjoy the boost to my creative output that must be coming due to the Tangerine Vader and the Posse of Pimples in the American White House of White People Only.

I kid. I’m sure some other-colored folks slipped in and are disguised appropriately. We humans are adaptable little bastards! Sorry, sorry. We humans are as God made us and sometimes God allows us to disguise ourselves so we can survive in less than nice situations. Amen.

Oh hey!! Before I close this confusing mess of this, that, the other, BUY MY BOOK. It’s good. I wrote it. It has several short stories! You can read one every day, it will take five minutes! There’s sex and violence! I promise! Villains get theirs! Probably not, but hey, you’ll have to read my little collection to find out! Vampires! Who do not sparkle in sunlight! Who acts like a vampire! Like one from the Lost Boys! If you get that reference,  OREGON GOTHIC should be on your to-read list!! I’d appreciate it. I’ll even post some drunk China shots and yes, I do have them. Ugh. Challenge accepted, my dears?

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